Diary Entry Five

Friday the second day of the month of October in the year of our Lord two thousand and nine.

I whiled away the day in Glasgow sitting in the cheap environment of a Wetherspoons alehouse, availing myself of staggeringly cheap ales of high quality and food of good value but poor quality. This combination succesfully built up a wonderful feeling of nausea, so I left for the venue moaning gently to myself and eyeing dark alleyways in which to hastily and noisily vomit. Thankfully the walk restored my vim and vigour and upon arriving at The Drawing Room, I settled into a couch feeling relaxed and entertained myself with The Daily Record, a large glass of red and a few unsatisfactory games of Snake on my mobile device. The gig was good fun, the promoter and his friends were very nice people and the other guy who played was good, his friends (who were quite merry) were heckling him with wonderfully tuneful backing vocals. I then went to get a bed for the night and the guys from the gig dropped me off at a hostel. I was met outside by the proprietor who appeared half cut with his trousers falling down. He led me in and offered me something to drink, which i accepted, half thinking that he might be offering me it with motives impure. After chatting for a bit he fetched a young Czech lad from his room and began plying him with wine instead of me. Our host began to offer long monologues on "cocks", "men loving their own dicks" and dicks "being everything", while women apparently "don't want to bang dicks, they want to bang wallets", also touched upon was what "bitches women are". Our young Czech friend managed to agree with him on a few points, in particular the without exception lack of altruism among female millionaires, compared to generosity of their male counterparts. I however found flaw in a couple of his arguments and after filling their two glasses to the brim he told me it was time to go to bed and led me to my room. I hope the young Czech guy didn't experience any wandering hands. This morning I awoke to workmen hammering and drilling directly beside my head. This morning I had a bowl of chilli.